Give Poop A Chance

I got an e-mail from the head crapper over at the Poop Report today. The shit has really hit the fan over there. So to speak. Guess pooping for or against peace has really got some people's undies in a bunch. Like some folks that commented, I'm starting to agree that pooping positions are more important than any political position. Here's the message and the link: Enjoy!

Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2003 10:51:48 -0500 (CDT)
From: "Dave from PoopReport"
To: bbojojo99@NOSPAMyahoo.com
Subject: poop on peace

This might interest you:
Recent post at Poop Report

Read it with an open mind, because it's not what
you think. In fact, I bet you'll agree with me.

Dave
PoopReport

The war is not over. Yet.

Just because some UN ambassador says 'The game is over', does not mean it is. Our president has yet to speak.

And anyway, if it weren't for the goddamned UN, we would be--as a country--much further ahead in terms of itself.

April 15th Is Poop On "POOP for Peace" Day

Why? Because we shit to relieve ourselves!

Some hippie mom and dad came up with a lame-ass Peacenik Poop Parade, which they slapped a clever name onto and devoted a web page to it. If that's not bad enough--because they are so lame, they don't have the balls to take credit for such a shitty (pun intended) scheme--they placed their poor, defenseless child in the position of boss. The child has its own website, where this silly shit charade starts. The site and its weblog, obviously published by the stupid parental units, purports that they wanted to find a way "to make a statement on this war on Iraq" because, "As someone merely a few weeks old, I don’t look forward to growing up in a “regime change” world. In between my fits of pooping and suckling at my mother’s breasts, I came up with a brilliant plan to silently protest the war."

Brilliant indeed. Like this country doesn't reek of leftist stench already.

So when we read this, our jaws dropped to the floor. We could not believe people would stoop so low as to try and put everyone into their silly potty game by claiming that "...since everyone poops, You’re with us like it or not!". We think that putting one's gastrointestinal functions to such a test is not only inhumane, but un-human, and therefore UN-AMERICAN.

With that said, we officially declare Tuesday, April 15, 2003 to be International POOP ON "Poop for Peace" Day.

That’s right folks, on the 15th of April, every time you have a bowel movement you are saying to these fecal mater-and-free-love-mongers and everyone else, that you are pooping because GODDAMMIT, YOU HAVE TO POOP, and that is the ONLY REASON! (Don't forget of course, that we we're also figuratively pooping on their campaign)!

So now what do we do?
On the 15th be sure to go to this website and flood these idiots with e-mails stating our case. Use the subject header 'I took a shit/dump/crapload on your Poop for Peace campaign!'. Or you can click here to do so.

This protest is an easy one for everyone who has to poop. By pooping, you're saying, "Ugh--what a relief!" Even those fucked-up, anti-war bastards gotta poop a little, if not more than anyone else, what with all their flaxseed and bran-chowing vegan asses! We're making April 15, 2003 a day of Pooping on the "Poop for Peace" campaign.

Put that in your bong and smoke it, you shit-covered commies.


NOTE:
For those of you who have wealth to share, we will be accepting donations shortly. Proceeds will be used ENTIRELY to fund our efforts to stop this peacenik (bowel)movement as well as any other form of leftism disguised as sorry-ass patriotism.

IMAGES:
Right-click and save to your server, then proudly fly them on your site, email them to friends, hell, even print them out and post them wherever you want.

For those of you recently enlightened peace-pooper folk...

Contributed by Jimmy at the bonejar...